As a new parent, I’m often thinking about how I’ll love my kid. Growing up in a Nigerian home, my parents idea of showing me love was taking me to get a double cheeseburger with fries some Sundays. They didn’t do things like write me cute poems for kids or hug me until I turned blue. Well I’m sexual chocolate so I can’t turn blue, but you get the picture. 

Now that I’m older I realize my love language is words of affirmation and acts of service. I always yearned for my parents to tell me how beautiful I was and how much they loved me etc. 

The truth is, you’re more likely to love your kids in a way that you know how to love as opposed to how they need to be loved. Here are a few tips I cooked up for making your little rugrats feel an unconditional love. 

Understand Their Love Language 

You have probably heard at least one person going on and on about The 5 Love Languageswhich is a popular book by Gary Chapman. For those who don’t know, love languages aren’t only restricted to romantic relationships, they can extend to relations with your friends, family, and kids as well. 

If you want to make your kids feel love, it’s important that you discover what their love language is and work towards loving them in that way. Because Gary is teh plug and this love language stuff makes sense, I’ve based my tips on the Five Love Languages.

Quality Time

Some kids require undivided attention or quality time in order to feel loved. What’s most important to them is that they are able to spend time with you and they get to do something with you, no matter what it is. Here are some ideas of things you could do with one another.

  • Creative Days: A practical way that you can enjoy quality time with your little one is by doing something creative. Ask your child what kind of creative activity they’d love to do with you and plan a time as well as place to get it done. I struggle with this because creativity with my one year old translates into more mess for me to clean. *rolling eyes*
  • TV Time: Although not everyone is a fan of TV, it can be educative and entertaining as a quality time activity. You could decide to watch a documentary together about a topic their curious about. On the other hand, you could pull up some classic family-friendly movies and binge watch with healthy snacks of course. You could also throw in that weird show on YouTube where kids watch each other play if you really wanna be a loving parent
  • Explore: Adventure can be a fun idea for quality time too. Try going to visit museums, parks, or nature reserves that you’ve never been to before so you can create exclusive memories for the both of you. 

Physical Touch

If you have one of those cuddly kids that can’t keep their hands off of you, physical touch may be their love language. You could do anything from hugging, kissing, tossing them in the air or holding hands to make them feel like the most loved kid in the universe. My one-year-old enjoys digging his toe nails into my skin and slapping me in the face, so I’m not sure if physical touch is his thing. 

Although it can be annoying and make you want to shout when your kids won’t give you breathing space, try your best to touch them often throughout the day. 

Words of Affirmation

For some kids, they need to hear that you love them often. Consider buying ready-made poems for kids and having it framed in their room so they can see as well as hear your words. Such poems would make great wall art as well. There is a range of words of affirmation you can give such as words of praise and encouragement, affection and endearment or positive guidance. 

  • Write Them a Letter: If you were anything like me when I was pregnant, then you probably wrote your kid(s) a number of notes while they were baking. Why not write them a letter that tells them how much you love them and like the poems for kids, have it framed? If you aren’t good at putting your words together, have it custom-written and printed on a canvas so it’s something they can keep forever.  
  • Have Heart to HeartsHaving intimate conversationswith your kids is another way of giving them the words of affirmation that they need. Talk to them about their day, how they’re doing in school as well as their relationships with their friends. You can then slot in how proud you are of them, what a great job they’re doing and other positive affirmations. 

Gifts

For some kids, if you want them to feel greatly loved, buying them gifts is the only way. These gifts can become symbols of love. Although you know that most kids have a million gifts on their wish list, you’ll know that it’s your little ones love language by the way that they respond when they receive gifts. Only you would know the best gift to give to your child, but it should always be a gift that they’ll appreciate and will have meaning to them. 

Acts of Service

If you notice that when you do simple acts for your kids they’re over the moon, acts of service could be their love language. It could be that by helping them dress their imaginary doll or cook them their favorite dinner they feel loved. If you notice this is your child’s love language, make an effort to do the things they ask for and help them when they need help. This doesn’t mean doing everything for them, but just show them you love them by being ready to show up and show out when they need ya. 

If you aren’t sure what your kids love language is, as long as they’re old enough to communicate, just ask! Growing up, I wanted nothing more than to be loved unconditionally by my parents through words of affirmation and physical touch. Now that I’m older, I still want the same love from my imperfect superheroes. 

I hope this article has helped you learn more about how to make your kids feel loved. Now go on and be a loving super incredible super badass parent! You got this <3

The Naked Poet xoxo